What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why dont they make black forks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Xzibit

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there Police

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops