A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

Blake wilkeys hair style

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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