what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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I'm Batman.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops