Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Your Mom!!!

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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