Your Mom!!!

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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My penis is big... not.

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Mitt Romney

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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GONNA

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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