What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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