Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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What did the "gangster" looking black guy ask the white guy he approached randomly on the street? "Excuse me sir, are you aware of the injustices done toward the jewish community that has been the decline of western society since the reclamation proclamation?"

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

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MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY MILES IS GAY

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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