A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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Im black

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Jerry.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops