Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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Knock knock What?

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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