What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green and has wheels? a green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops