Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

What do you call a bunch of mexicans jumping out of a truck a family with not alot of money to afford a car so they are forced to ride a truck that can barely fit them all

This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...