What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and very long? The line-up at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -10

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's big and long? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops