What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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say cheese

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Xzibit

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops