What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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How come anti jokes r funny

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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