Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Cinema summer shits coming this year! Reboot edition ONE! Rocky BarBoler a older man with dreams of becoming a true boxing champion!... but will he succeed against the champion Apollo thirteen? Watch ROCKY To find out. Starring Mike Tyson as Rocky, and Justin Bieber as Apollo thirteen (Do I need remind you Rocky lost in his first movie?, Well that one is for you "Beleibers" because in the end you are misguided cuties.. most way to young for me, but you are as cute as you are silly). Moral: Loves cute girls... especially those over 16... legal age here... good luck calling us all pedophiles... They mature fast here, "beliebe" me, twelve year olds have fully grown boobs... what did you think I meant by cute? RAWR! Look but no touch is a okay for me mama Luigi. I just tend to call me once they turn 16...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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im watching you..

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops