what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Im black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops