Hi

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How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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A man walks into a bar

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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