Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops