your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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69

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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