What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

what do get when you throw a penny in between a jew and a mexican? nothing besides one less penny

Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

Alright then, call me sometime then.

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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