What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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im watching you..

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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your mother

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Yanter, Look it up

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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