What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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