Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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I grunt when I poop.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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