A man walks into a bar.

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

we all know sammi has a penis

How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

That's what SHE said!

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...