What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops