Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

leon harney ya pikey

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops