why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

This is not a joke

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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