Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue your sister is pretty what happend to u??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who wants pizza crusts?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +4

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You just read this ..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops