Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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