How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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think twice or at least think

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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A man penetrates another man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops