I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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9/11.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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