A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Paper shield.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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9/11.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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