What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops