So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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