An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

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antijoke is the best website.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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why am I writing this...im bored

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops