Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

thumb_up thumb_down +15

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops