Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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think twice or at least think

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops