A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -41

how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops