As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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mark is religion

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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