A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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This is a random Anti joke.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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