Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Smeg...

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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