~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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give me a thumbs up

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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