Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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