Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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You

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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