What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the capital of Ohio? O

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops