How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Friends are like trees, They fall down if you hit them several times with an axe.

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Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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