Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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69

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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People...

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops