A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

Your mother is average.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

Can I ask you a question? You just did

how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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