Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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No.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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The game.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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