yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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