I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops