a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

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A black guy, a priest, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They order water and chat about life.

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jcjdj

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Hillary Clinton

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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