Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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* anti-punchline

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops