What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Your all fags

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dick dick dick... frogs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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