What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Corn Muffins

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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