You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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raisin boogers

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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obama's promises

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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Hitler

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Women's rights

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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